I have some pretty exciting news: I got a haircut that came with a free “deep conditioning treatment.” Even though this made me feel like one of those guys who try to look manly-yet-foppish, I have to say that having my skull massaged put me in a relaxed state, and being in such a state for 15 minutes once every 5 years was quite lovely. And also useful, since I’m going to have to give a “best man speech” soon, which, outside of my new dandy doo, I’m wholly unprepared for, especially since among all men, I am certainly not the best (but I’m not going to say anything if you don’t; I mean I would have chosen someone like Bob Dylan or Gandhi or maybe Jesus if he’s available, but it’s cool if he chose me; it’s kind of flattering). Anyway, I’m glad I took the “deep conditioning treatment” deal.
Speaking of deals, I have a shitload of 16×20” frames from my Bouldin Creek display, and thereforely I’m having a sale. For the rest of the month, said frames are 50% off.
In other news, I’ve added a new feature on my site that allows you to test your photo before sending it to me. Because I wrote the code myself, it perhaps doesn’t offer the most ideal user experience, but I did my best considering that (1) I’m not a programmer, (2) such a feature is not the heart and soul of my proprietorship, and (3) I didn’t do my best.
That said, I feel like I need to school you in how it works. First, you click the button that says Test a Photo:
Your photo is placed behind the other elements:
You’re probably going to want to adjust your photo, and the button that says “Your Photo” will help you with that, because it activates your photo by bringing it forward:
Note that once Your Photo is selected, you’re given some controls:
Those controls are only for the image you uploaded – not my images – because my images are just like me: perfect.
Once you resize your photo, you can click the other layers to make them active, thus allowing you to rearrange the clothing and accessories. You can click or tap the arrows to bring something new into the canvas, or you can use your cursor or move the items that are already available. Below is an image that has the hat activated.
Note: Because some people don’t want their pets wearing hats or using tobacco products, an empty layer can find itself on the canvas. Thus if you’re trying to manipulate an empty layer, you’re not going to see any results.
Below is a non-empty layer; the hat is selected.
If you were to hit the right arrow for the hat, it would be removed from the canvas, and the empty layer would be active. So I would advise that you choose another layer or deselect.
When you’re finished or you want to see what the composition looks like without the lightened effect, hit Deselect:
I know it could use some refining, but that will come in time after a lot of aspirin and screwing off.
Which is a great segway into another feature I need to mention. See, in some cases, you cannot upload a photo to test it. Pretty much all of the themes are not prepared for this cutting edge technology, so I needed to come up with a way for the “Test your Photo” button to not be displayed on certain pages. I also needed a way to have it function a specific way on other types of collections. Thusforthly, I created a flag for each collection:
- Collections that don’t allow photos
- Collections that allow one photo
- Collections that allow two photos
You read right! In an exciting new collection that will be available sometime between now and never, you will be able to test two photos.
Let’s see, what else? It’s been a long time since I’ve written, so a lot has happened, but I don’t want to cover too much, since I need to go do other things.
Ok, one more: for the first time in Coat & Tails history, I will be allowing another artist to put his work on my site. He will thusfore be doing the work, although – unfortunately for you – I will continue to be the un-foppish-yet-manly liaison you will interface with.
And if that weren’t as exciting as the invention of the cubicle, he’s currently working on a collection that may or may not be named after a popular television program: “Game of Bones.”
So keep your eyes glued to my Instagram for updates which again will happen between now and some point in the future.